... when a Star Wars character says, "May the force be with you",
you automatically reply, "And also with you".
... the only good reason to raise your hand during a hymn
is to question the organist's re-harmonization.
... you recognize your neighbor or priest in the local liquor store
you go over to greet him or her.
... hearing people pray in the language of "jesuswejus" ("Jesus, we just ...")
makes you want to scream.
... words like: "vouchsafe," "oblation," "supplications," "succor," "bewail," "wherefore," and "dost"
are familiar to you even if you don't have a clue that they mean.
... the sight of a woman in a clerical collar
doesn't make you cringe.
... you think that the Bible is a holy book
because it quotes the Book of Common Prayer so well.
... your choir director suggests discussing something
over a beer after choir rehearsal.
... you catch yourself genuflecting or bowing
as you enter a row of seats in a theater.
... you visit a Protestant church, and you wonder
"where are the kneelers?" or
"where is the altar?"
... you know the best way to quiet a room full of people
is to say, "The Lord be with you!"
... when you visit a Roman Catholic Church,
you are the only Ah-men amongst a sea of A-mens .
... your covered dish for the potluck dinner is
escargot in puff shells.
... your preferred term for a potluck dinner is
covered dish dinner.
... you know Agnus Dei
isn't a woman.
... your picnic basket
has sterling knives and forks (entree, fish, salad and cake).
... you know that the nave
is not a playing card.
... on hearing the story of Martha and Mary, you’re convinced that
Mary would have been in EfM and Martha would have made a great head of the Altar Guild.
... you search your parish kitchen for a can opener
and you find four corkscrews.
... your friend says "I'm truly sorry"
and you reply, "and you humbly repent?"
... you consider a sticker on your car
to be an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace.
... you know that Senior Warden and Junior Warden
are not positions in the local prison.
,,, churches without gay clergy just seem like
they’re trying just a little too hard to be “butch.”
... you think the most serious breach of propriety one can commit
is failure to chill the salad forks.
... you not only talk about God,
but God is placed in the palm of your hand.
And finally,
... you reach a point when you're not sure about anything theologically
but you still feel at home at the altar rail, knowing that somehow you're meeting God.
